Take on Dating Series - Part Two - The Date

I had originally planned to post this Tuesday, but the post would have been as follows:

Dating...

Sucks.

Ass.

The end.

Obviously, I couldn't leave you all with just that. Though I don't know what B.S. I'm actually going to pull out of my own ass to make it sound any more glamorous than that. Just imagine me writing this is a feather boa and I think we might have something...

So, why is it important to date? Well....

Yeah, I got nothing, but I can provide you with a few random thoughts...

• If I REALLY think about it, I think dating has the potential to be wonderful. I'm not talking about first dates or anything, just having the opportunity to dress up, go out, and try to make your man fall in love with you all over again...Look at me, there's actually a smile on my face and I'm being sappy.

But as far as first dates go, here's some recommendations...Not all, mind you, but I'm going to attempt to make a good start.

• If we're traveling together, don't put Barry White on in the car. Because the effort's weird. And if it's not an effort, then I'll just assume you listen to it alone and that's even weirder. So it's a lose/lose.
• If a conversation involves "I don't know, what do you want to do?" and we're planning date numero uno, there won't be a date numero deuce-o. Have some gusto! When you ask me out, have a few places in mind that you love, and plan on taking me there...it shows enthusiasm, confidence, and that you're making an effort.
• Who pays? This is such a touchy subject. I'm a pretty traditional chick myself. If you ask me out on a date, then I assume I you'll pay. I don't know why this is, if it's even fair...all I know is that by asking me out on a date, there is a possibly that one day I'll be pushing your child's head through my...and at that moment? Damn right, it's fair. Say what you want about that argument; it's bad ass, total BS, and we'll continue to use it. If we're doing a casual lunch, Dutch is acceptable and I guess it's acceptable otherwise, just let me know before hand. You'll lose points, but gain them for persevering through an awkward moment.
• Awkward moment that has no opportunity to gain points? Having your credit card decline.
• Opening my car door, opening doors, taking off my coat, letting me sit first...those are all things your mother should have taught you. It's cute and makes me smile. Incentive enough.
• I'm a total flirt, but that doesn't mean I'll accept your invitation home.
• First date subjects that shouldn't be talked about - salary, love life, etc. On a first date, you're always too worried about how you look eating, so keep your focus on getting that fork to your mouth instead of questions that will make me excuse myself to the ladies' room and climb out the window. Even if the restaurant is on the fourth floor.
• Do not mention the phrase "if we ever get married". Not even on the second date. Dude, I carry running shoes in my car.
• Be yourself! Having actual interests, goals, hobbies, and a personality is actually what you're suppose have after high school! I love football and I'll watch Star Trek and the Lion King back to back at 2 in the morning.
• I'm going to make sure I look "presentable" (which means I'm going to try to knock your socks off). If you like what you see, don't be afraid to say so - every woman loves to hear it. And, no we don't have a bladder problem, we'll excuse ourselves to the ladies' room just to check our hair and makeup. We're trying to impress you too.
• Be honest with me. That's the golden ticket right there. But don't sing to me...yet.
• Just because we've dated once or twice doesn't mean we're destined for his and her bath towels. Being exclusive shouldn't just be assumed, it should involve a conversation.
• Confidence!
• Don't ask me out on Sunday or Monday if it's football season (or Saturdays during the playoffs). And definitely not on nights the Zags play unless our date includes Robert Sacre live. Just remember this is a risky option because then I'll focus on going home with Robert Sacre and not you.
• Dinner and a movie can be a great option or a horrible option. Horrible if you see the movie before dinner because you'll be so uncomfortable sitting next to me you won't be able to concentrate on the movie. Your mind will be fixated on the armrest. So get to know each other over dinner first and you'll be a lot more at ease.
• Being adventurous and creative is always a big plus! Being weird is not.
• Don't lie to me and tell me your an Eagles or a Gonzaga fan. I know when a good thing is too good to be true.
• If you seem like you might be a Dallas Cowboys fan, I will leave. No comments, no questions, just a look of pure disgust on my face. And that's just a MIGHT BE a Cowboys fan, it doesn't even have to be affirmed.

Everything but the last point could be total BS. But that last point? GOLDEN RULE.